Why did the chicken cross the road? By the author of 50 reasons not to commit suicide (28 items)

Last updated: almost 11 years ago

To Do (28 left)

  •  To get to the other side?
  • To finally get to the barn?
  • To not end up like the squirrel did?
  • BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
  • JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
  • HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.; This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross th
  • DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid
  • OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that
  • GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
  • COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
  • ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
  • JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
  • NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
  • PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
  • MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
  • Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
  • EMO CHILD: To die in the rain. Alone.
  • GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
  • JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until w
  • BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing th
  • ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
  • REV. JEREMIAH WRIGHT: Why are all the chickens white? ... We need some black chickens! That is what is wrong with this accursed country of slavery and betrayal! Yes, Whitey is keeping the black chickens down, with the help of all the Uncle Tom chickens s
  • he wanted to
  • Because he could
  • He did it for the freedom of all chickens
  • M.L.K. Jr.: " I have a dream! That all chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned!"
  • To get away from all the "Why did the chicken cross the road?" jokes. He is seriously ticked off!
  • Done