AUs (130 items)

Last updated: over 9 years ago

To Do (130 left)

  •  ‘Hey bastard this store is already closed oh wait you’re hot never mind please do come in’ AU
  • ‘I’m on the verge of tears because of a rude customer and you step in and stand up for me’ AU
  • ‘I can feel you silently judging me as you ring up my purchases I swear I’m not using these for their intended purpose’ au
  • ‘Why does this cost TEN DOLLARS THIS IS AN OUTRAGE’ AU
  • ‘You’ve just been saved from a burning building and you’re begging to go back in to save your pet cat’ AU
  • You’re a drug lord and I think I’ve just walked into your drug den’ AU
  • We go to the same support group; I have social anxiety and you’re a kleptomaniac who sorta stole my heart AU
  • I’m an artist and you have a really nice face so would you mind if I drew you? AU
  • We were both stood up for dates at the same nice restaurant so we decide to eat together and split the check but I dunno you’re pretty interesting aside from your distractingly enormous eyebrows AU
  • We met at a mutual friend’s cheesy masquerade party and we agree that the only good thing about this party is the masks so you can’t judge a book by its cover only now that we’ve been talking I want to see your face but I don’t know how to ask AU
  • You used to date my friend who absolutely hates your guts after a messy breakup and now you’re flirting with me and I really shouldn’t be so interested in you but I am AU
  • no wonder why you’re the football coach damn you’re fit au
  • a student catches us texting to each other in class oh how the tables have turned au
  • our classrooms are adjacent to each other and we can always see each other through the door windows au
  • i’m the drama teacher and you’re the only who can actually act help me demonstrate this love scene to my students au
  • “my kid punched your kid in daycare and now we both have to meet with the teacher” AU
  • “wtf you’re not my roommate, how did you get in here? oh sHIT you’re really drunk aND NOW YOU’RE CRYING OKay okay it’s okay shhhh, you can stay here i guess??” au
  • “mY CHIPS WOULDN’T COME OUT THE VENDING MACHINE AND I GOT MAD AND TRIED TO GRAB IT BUT NOW MY HAND’S STUCK AND PLS STOP LAUGHING AT ME THIS IS V SERIOUS IM GOIG TO CRy” au
  • “yes, i know this is a bar but you’re a rlly hot bartender and i panicked and said “cHOCOLATE MILK” when you asked me what i wanted to drink, now i just want to crawl away and hide forever” au
  • “thats the third fucking toy you’ve played with and didn’t know how to turn off in my store pls don’t just try to awkwardly walk away i cAN SEE YOU” au
  • “idk you but you fell asleep on my shoulder on the bus and the only reason i’m letting you stay there is bc you look very comfy and i’m a good person - it’s totally not bc you’re also possibly the cutest and most precious human being i have ever seen haha
  • “hOOOoooOo shit, so you’re the older sibling my best friend always talks about hahah wow tHEY NEVER BOTHERED TELLING ME YOU WERE THIS HOT” au
  • “my friend thought you were cute so she tried to take a picture of you for snapchat and her flash went off but when you looked our way she shoved her phone into my hands and nOW YOU THINK IT’S ME AND OH GOD PLS DON’T BE MAD” au
  • working at this burger joint for extra cash wouldn’t be half as bad if my coworker wasn’t so damn distracting au.
  • i met this guy on an mmo and we hit it off. he tanked and i healed his ass. he’s a complete geek, a hopeless romantic, and also an a-list celebrity that i’ve lusted over for years au.
  • that witch hexing me into narrating my ever action was supposed to suck but you kinda like it when we have sex au.
  • i should be looking forward to having beyond vivid wet dreams of having sex with my soulmate. it’s just that the person in my dreams is my boss, but he’s been avoiding me and i need to know why au.
  • familiars were supposed to be companions and nothing more, but screw that, i’m in love with my master and he loves me back au.
  • sometimes i wished i wasn’t a superhero because you’re starting to ask questions that i can’t answer and i’m afraid that it’s just a matter of time before you leave me..and to be honest, i’m starting to feel that you deserve better au.
  • ‘i come to this café pretty much every day after work and by now you know my order by heart and even wave at me when i come in’ au
  • ‘…and it turns out our friends are making out with each other, this is akward’ au
  • ‘I love this movie and it’s the second time I come to the cinema to watch it but shit I accidentally spoiled you while we were in line to buy the ticket, can I make it up to you with a drink afterwards?’ au
  • ‘we share a class at university and you forgot your notebook under your desk but luckily your phone’s written inside. Ps: your doodles are pretty cool’ au
  • ‘you have merchandise of my favourite anime let’s be friends (or something more because really, you’re hot)’ au
  • ‘we both came to this bar to get drunk and forget our problems but wow that’s expensive, wanna share?’ au
  • ‘we got caught by this awful storm and now we’re waiting for it to calm under the roof of a café, want to go inside and have a coffee in the meantime?’ au
  • you work at this wealthy country club and i’m a regular who happens to think you’re very cute and i sorta wanna make my parents mad by flirting with you but i won’t tell you that
  • we hate each other but our parents are friends and set us up on a date and we’re messing with them so they’ll lay off tho you’re taking this fake dating to extremes and i quite like it but shut up i hate you why is your hand on my knee when they’re not ar
  • you’re my siblings bf / gf or best friends sibling and the first person you turn to is me and we stay up talking on the phone until 3am every night until we’re closer than they know and i don’t think this is okay
  • you’re older than me and have much more experience and think i’m just a stupid kid but you still can’t stop laughing at my childish jokes and calling out my name at 2am
  • we kind of got past the point of ‘taking this game of gay chicken too seriously’ when you took your pants off but I really do not mind at all.
  • I used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and I’m going all out for the next event
  • a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me
  • you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um
  • we’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you
  • baby simulator project au
  • I work at a craft store and I see you come in here a lot with you mom aw how sweet au
  • I did something stupid late at night with my friends and surprise we’ve been hiding in your treehouse for like three days. also y’know that “picnic” your younger sibling had the other day? yeah that was food for us au
  • notes in library books au
  • you took my towel while I was in the shower so now I have to find you and find my clothes and that towel au
  • we met at my friend’s kid’s birthday party and the kids think you’re a jungle gym au
  • We were arguing and I told you to shut up and you said make me. The sexual tension is on high au
  • we’ve been fake proposing at so many restaurants that right now I don’t know if you’re joking or not au
  • you ate the last of the pizza rolls I can’t date you anymore au
  • aww you got me a birthday basket wait why the fuck is there a dildo in it au
  • I always see you doing weird shit at ridiculous hours of the night and it makes me feel better because I do weird shit in the middle of the night too AU
  • It’s like 3AM and my roommate locked me out of the house and I forgot my keys and I’m really drunk pls take pity on me and let me crash at your place for the night o’ neighbor of mine AU
  • In which we live in a relatively rich neighborhood and during summers we obnoxiously sit in loungers, drinking lemonade, and ogle the cute pool boy together AU
  • This is the first time I’m living on my own and my parents decided to spontaneously drop by in a few hours to see how I’m doing pls let me borrow some cleaning supplies and food so that my parents will believe I’m a functioning, responsible adult who tota
  • ou just moved in next door and you’re convinced your house is haunted so you seek refuge at my house when you get freaked out and eventually rope me into investigating for paranormal activity and the only reason I’m doing any of this is because you’re rea
  • you’re meeting your friends in my coffee shop and you just walked in 15 minutes late with Starbucks what the fuck bro
  • this is america and your cute english friend just ordered tea um shit shit shit i think we have some tea in the back maybe how do I make tea shit
  • that combination of flavours sounds disgusting why do you order it every single - holy shit that’s amazing
  • starbucks is shut and I need my coffee fix maybe I’ll try the little indie place which has opened up
  • arranged marriage
  • prince/princess falls in love with servant
  • “we met each other at the art store and bonded over whining about how much money we have to spend on paint” au
  • teacher/student au
  • two strangers locked inside a grocery store at three am together au
  • you’re my siblings’s best friend and i absolutely hate you but pretend to be my boy/girlfriend to piss off my family au
  • “My bottoms just ripped and you can’t stop staring cause is that lace?!” AU
  • “We’re complete strangers but our friends are forcing us to go on a double date with them and what do you know we both like making their lives miserable (plus you’re kind of cute)” AU
  • “i decided to move and work abroad but i’m pretty homesick and have no friends to speak of and you’re the insanely hot bartender who listened to my woes. i’m not entirely sure you understood much of what i was saying, but you invited me out with you and
  • “I woke up with a massive hangover and a reminder on my phone to call your number. Identified only as ‘ravage me’. I’m guessing we got to talking last night??” AU
  • “We both work the night shift at a 24h grocery store and it’s boring as fuck so we need to find ways to keep each other busy for like 6 hours every night” AU
  • “I’m behind you in line at the grocery store and all you have in your cart are three pints of really overpriced ice cream and a bottle of vodka. Are you okay do you need a hug?” AU
  • “Hey, you live next door and we haven’t properly met, but here’s my secret cat can you look after it for a couple of hours? The landlord’s fixing my sink and he can’t find out I’ve been keeping a pet” AU
  • “I hooked up with your roommate. but I didn’t know they had a roommate so the next morning i didn’t realize there was someone else in the kitchen. you’re quietly watching me as i down a bottle of gatorade in a single gulp, mildly amused but mostly disgust
  • “Precious cinnamon bun is like 5′ taller than me and it’s annoying because i’m a condensed tiny ball of rage and bitterness” AU
  • “You don’t mind staying indoors to hangout with me and noOOoO i don’t mind you drawing on my arm with markers while i browse netflix” AU
  • “Someone’s trying to take advantage of your niceness and FRICVrtgrYFASshawDUh I’LL BASH YER UGLY HEAD IN” AU
  • “We always bump into each other at frat parties and end up hooking up. This is like the fifth time and you were so hammered I had to let you sleep over. Now it’s morning and I have a lecture soon so can you kindly gtfo?”
  • the neighbourhood cats like me a whole lot better than you so stay away from them okay i’m the local cat whisperer king and you’re going to have to fight me for this
  • “I don’t know what the fuck i’m supposed to do with my life so i’m just going away. From everything. You were looking for a travel buddy to backpack through Europe on Craigslist and maybe you’re some creep but I’m taking my chances, so whatever let’s go”
  • “Your dad’s a drug lord and I’m a police detective. You’re kinda spoiled and you party a lot so I’m gonna try to get closer to your dad by seducing you at the club” AU
  • “I’m a night security guard at an apartment complex and this is the fourth time I see you doing the walk of shame. I don’t mean to pry or anything but I think you dropped your key chain the last time you were here and i kept it for you so there you go” AU
  • “I’m a medical resident working a long ass shift at the Emergency Room and you’re my last patient for the night and I’m stuck doing and redoing sutures on you because you had some stupid minor accident and for the love of all that’s holy will you please s
  • so i see you like to write passive aggressive articles about me and my art club in the school paper well guess whose going to draw passive aggressive comic strips of your shitty journal club
  • we’re both high school teachers serving as chaperones for a school trip and our students kinda ship us and i think they somehow rigged the hotel rooms so we have to share one? and i’m so sorry in advance because i snore
  • i work at a convenience store that you frequent and i swear to god if i see you put something back where it doesn’t belong ONE MORE TIME…
  • I’m hitchhiking with this person I do not know, holy shit balls what if they’re a deranged murderer or something and– wait you like [fave band/singer/etc]? Dude, let’s rock the fuck out with your volume at 100
  • Because I took pity on you, I’m giving you ride home on my (motor)bike and we’re having some pretty deep conversations on some really deep topics… Wanna do this again sometime?
  • Well random stranger, I saw from across the arcade you’ve been kicking major ass on DDR… Allow me to dethrone you.
  • I’ve been having these convos with this person in the class after mine by writing notes to each other on the desk we both share and I wanna meet them now
  • Superhero soulmate au
  • we pulled an all nighter trying to play monopoly and i think i may have confessed some weird shit
  • we’re in a class and i sit behind and all you ever do during the lessons is watch cat videos and youtube and it’s extremely distracting
  • we’re both famous and esteemed chefs and we always bag each others recipes for the cameras but in reality we sometimes meet up on the weekend to buy chicken nuggets and bad coffee
  • we’re both in the same holding cell and i’m kinda piss drunk with bleeding knuckles and you have half of your shirt ripped, wanna swap stories?
  • every time you sneak out of your damn house you go through my yard and my dogs won’t shut up and I am tired of it prepared to be soaked with water guns on your way to your next party au
  • I somehow always get you as a cashier at walmart and its always when I’m buying the weirdest shit at the weirdest time “A head of lettuce at 3am?” ”its a long story” au
  • ghosts snuggling up to their living friends to feel their body heat
  • ghosts getting really giddy and excited whenever they hear music from their era
  • you work in the cafeteria on campus and i order the same thing every day so we keep making small talk and wow you actually seem pretty cool???
  • I walked into my dorm room and you and my roommate were performing a seyonce? It would have been funny if weird shit didn’t start happening.
  • we both went to grab the last ice cream and i’m insisting you take it but you’re insisting that i take it (added bonus: hey, why don’t we just share it?)
  • they captured you and put me in your room because i can suppress other people’s powers so you hate me but i’m lonely and bored and want to talk to you AU
  • we’re at a murder mystery party and i’m convinced you’re the killer AU
  • AU where people age until they reach 18 and then stop aging until they meet their soul mate so they can grow old together.
  • Spin the bottle
  • truth or dare
  • “hey we hooked up last night and it turns out you are my childs teacher” au
  • “im a bartender and you just came in here without shoes sat down and ordered a chocolate volcano and idk what the fuck that is and im scared to ask” au
  • “im a pizza delivery person and i just delivered a pizza to someone in the middle of a satanic ritual and they gave me their number???” au
  • “we work out at the same gym and you always look super legit but i know you sing hannah montana in the shower and you know i know” au
  • “i found a turtle in my house and now i feel like its my responsibility to care for it and you are a pet store worker who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and i need your help to take care of timmy yes its name is timmy the turtle” au
  • You’re new in the neighbourhood and your cat accidentally got into my garden and couldn’t get out again so I’ve brought him roun- heLLO you’re cute!
  • I’m new in the neighbourhood and I’ve already lost my cat but you found him and brought him round and wow you’re cute do you want to stay and have coffee?
  • ‘you’re a celebrity incognito trying to hide from paparazzi and you’re sitting right next to me and i’m the only one that recognizes you’ au
  • ‘i’m yelling to my friend about how attractive this celebrity is and then plot twist you’re the celebrity and in front of me wtf’ au
  • ‘we somehow got stuck overnight in an ikea and I just want to go to sleep in one of the display beds but you’re slowly convincing me that it’d be fun to see how much shit we can get into before the morning staff come to open up the store’ aU
  • ‘I found you on the roof of my house passed out with a black eye holding a fire extinguisher’ au
  • “you may cook a mean steak but my creme brulee is the best the town’s ever seen you’re going down” AU
  • “It sounds like someone is being murdered but you’re just trying to give your cat a bath. Do you need help?” AU
  • “I’m sorry but I was told to punch you in the face. I don’t know why but they’re giving me 20$ to do this. If you can make a better offer I won’t do it tho.” AU
  • my friends drug me to this club, then drug me out on the dance floor, then abandoned me in the middle of it. but hey the hot guy i was checking out earlier has appeared from nowhere and maybe this wasn’t a horrible idea after all AU
  • hey i know this is awkward cause you’re a customer in my shop. but you’re here all the time and i’m more comfortable with this. so i hope you don’t mind i told creepy guy over there you were my boyfriend so he’d leave me alone AU
  • you’re the /only/ person i don’t know at this bonfire…and i just met you like an hour ago…but now you’re quoting my favorite movie to me and singing to me…and your head is in my lap. can i keep you? AU
  • ‘we’re two thirds of the threesome we had last night and we’re walking awkwardly out of the last persons’s apartment together’ au
  • “you sent me the weirdest fucking picture on the planet by mistake but now i’m intrigued” au